Monday, October 30, 2017

The Mummy



I finally watched The Mummy (the one with Tom Cruise). *Takes a deep breath* Okay... I hadn't heard much about this movie. The only person that said anything was my mom and she said it was awful. It definitely wasn't good, but it wasn't the worst movie I've ever watched. But I will reiterate, it wasn't good. There are a lot of issues I have with this movie and I'm going to try to break this down and not go off on a tangent. Let's see how well I can do that. I love Egyptian history and mythology, and I was bummed out by how little there was.

The movie starts off with knights (Knights Templar) burying a knight with a Ruby. The burial site which is underground, is found many years later by a construction crew.  They are soon after told to leave the site by Russell Crowe's character, Mr. Jekyll. Yes....Jekyll as in Jekyll  and Hyde. That is a BIG issue i have with this movie, but ill get into  that later. He comes across a wall with inscriptions on it and then begins to monologue. Then the movie flashes back to ancient Egypt. It shows princess Ahmanet sparring as her father, the Pharaoh watches. She was his only child and would inherit his throne, she knew this and thoroughly enjoyed that idea. Then the Pharaoh had a son which meant she would no longer be the heir to her father's kingdom. She got upset, then tried to summon Set to help her kill him so she could still get the power.  This all made sense as the first born male child of a Pharaoh is automatically the heir to the throne. What I don't understand is why she decides to summon the god Set. Why not just kill them herself without him? She basically knew that was what she would have to do anyways. I understand that he is the god of death but it just felt like a kind of weak plot. In order for her ritual to be complete and summon Set in a physical form, she had to kill her father, his son and sacrifice her lover. She kills both her father and his new son, but before she is able to sacrifice her lover, she is caught by the Pharaoh's guards or priests. Because of what she did, the consequence is to be mummified and buried alive. So they bind her up, Put her inside a sarcophagus and set off to bury it.

I hear that this movie is supposed to be a reboot of the not so long ago Mummy franchise (which I really like). But this movie seriously lacked anything having to do with Egypt other than that scene with Ahmanet.  I get that they want to go a different route, change things up a bit, but I didn't care too much for this plot. It felt like it was missing something. Aside from the lack of Egyptian history or mythology or  anything that could reference to  that time in history. With her inside the sarcophagus, they took her really far away from Egypt to bury. Like, they went to Mesopotamia. The next scene is modern day in Iraq and Tom Cruise and another man are on a hill searching for some kind of treasure. They aren't really treasure hunters, they are in the military and are supposed to be somewhere else entirely. Basically they are thieves. Where ever they go they just steal things and sell them on the black market. Here starts one of my issues...what branch of the regular military lets two soldiers just gallivant wherever they want with no repercussions? They were many clicks away from where they were supposed to be but they don't even get in trouble other than a semi mild tongue lashing. They don't get reprimanded they are actually told to help an archaeologist with searching a tomb they unknowingly unearthed when they called in an air strike. They go with this female archaeologist which Tom Cruise's character has history with. He actually stole her map of that area because she was looking for this site they found. Down in the tomb, there is gold and also mercury. There are a series of statues. Normally the statues are facing outwards, watching and protecting the person that is buried, she makes note that all of the statues are facing inwards. As if guarding whoever is buried. He starts having weird visions about Princess Amahnet and hearing her say 'My Chosen' but has no clue what is going on. There are pieces of gold and valuable jewels around the tomb and of course Tom Cruise and his thieving buddy get wide eyed and want to start taking things. The other guy gets at least one thing but before Tom Cruise has a chance to swipe something, the archaeologist lady fusses at him. Almost instantly an army of camel spiders (YUCK) start heading to them, crawling on them and one bites the other guy. Again yuck.

After he gets crazy and starts shooting around the spiders leave and they get out of the tomb. They get a helicopter to take the tomb to an airfield so they can get on an airplane with it and go back to London where she is based out of. There is a sand storm that immediately and suddenly heading their way as soon as they lift the sarcophagus out of the ground. But they all make it on the airplane just in time. The guy that stole from the tomb however starts to look really bad. Almost like a zombie. This is another issue I have. I think it's common folklore that if you steal from a tomb there are consequences. And generally we know that Egyptian tombs did have warnings and curses etc. But there was no ominous warning on this tomb.Nothing significantly 'oh shit maybe we shouldn't take anything' kind of warning. The original "The Mummy" movie had lots of warnings and made sure that the viewers understood the Egyptians had curses, traps and warnings for would be grave/tomb raiders. But all of a sudden guy gets bitten by a camel spider and then is a zombie? Okay. He stabs his commanding officer ON THE PLANE after he's asked what hes doing. He's trying to cut the cording that's keeping the sarcophagus stable on the plane. After he stabs his commanding officer, he turns to Tom Cruise and the other passengers. Tom Cruise shoots him 3 times and hes dead. Then the air lock to the plane comes off the plane crashes (he puts a parachute on the archaeologist, pulls the cord and lets it take her off the plane. But he goes down with the plane. He wakes up in a body bag with a toe tag in the morgue. He can't die because the Mummy, Princess Amahnet chose him, hes going to be the person she sacrifices to complete her ritual and bring Set into physical form. But in order for her to do it, she has to use the special dagger with a ruby in the handle for it to work. He finds this out very cryptically when he sees his buddy, the zombie (the comedic relief I should say) in the morgue. The archaeologist is take into the morgue because they needed help identifying the bodies.They are all shocked to see that he is alive down there.

Next scene they are in the bar and hes pounding shots while she tells him reluctantly that she thinks they have angered the Gods. Another problem I have. All of a sudden she is talking about Gods. There was no talk about her opinions of the gods or goddesses before this.When they were in the tomb would have been a perfect time for some sort of spiel about the gods of ancient Egypt. When she first sees the tomb would have been a great time. When they air lifted the sarcophagus and the sand storm or even the came spiders, any of those time would have been a good time to mention the ancient gods. But now, at a bar all of a sudden she starts feeling like they have 'angered the gods'. Tom Cruise is freaking out because he keeps seeing his dead friend around the bar and asks to be excused and goes into the bathroom and starts freaking out seeing him even more. The 'comedic relief' (that wasn't too funny) explains some more about them being cursed. He and the archaeologist set off to find the sarcophagus crash site. Meanwhile the sarcophagus crashed in a way different location than the plane and the mummy is busy sucking the life out of two police officers that are investigating the area. She takes their life essence (like the original Mummy) and becomes less corpse looking and more human. The people she sucks the life out of become zombies. There is a scene with her and the two zombie police officers that I swear they were going to start doing the Thriller dance. She's trying to get him to come to a specific place because she knows where the dagger she needs is. What she doesn't know, is that the ruby isn't in the handle like it should be. She finds this out when she gets him to come to her, and her zombies hold him down and she was about to stab him. But the ruby is found by Russel Crowe, I mean Mr. Jeckyll's crew.

To prevent giving away a weird plot twist any more of the story (and to keep myself from getting too annoyed) I will just go on to say that things get clouded by Mr Jeckyll and his goons and their desire for the ritual to be complete and having Set physically manifested. I made it through the end of the movie but was not by any means impressed. I was actually pretty surprised as well. Usually Tom Cruise doesn't play in crappy movies. I guess there truly is a first time for everything. Did you watch this movie? What are your thoughts? I don't think i would recommend this to anyone unless they just want to watch it out of curiosity or just want to waste some time.


lotsa love to ya!

I'm Von! I'm a lifestyle blogger based in Massachusetts. I have a passion for nerd culture, food and movies. To find out more about me and this blog, take a look at the About Me page!

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